Friday, January 25, 2013

on waiting


 
If I'm being honest, I hate waiting. I am at heart a very restless person, the sort that jiggles her leg and checks her e-mail 20 times an hour, the kind who chews on pens and watches the clock. I have never been very good at waiting. Now, I find myself waiting for a lot of things. I'm waiting on test results and answers. This is the kind of waiting that makes me jumpy, scrutinizing every brief pain and scanning online forums in moments of weakness. I'm waiting on responses from graduate programs, a very different, wondrous, Christmas morning sort of wait. I'm waiting for February break. I'm waiting for the school year to finish, for the next step.

All this waiting has forced me to find ways of surviving, or even enjoying, this stage. It's something interesting when you've done all you can and now must wait for what comes. I sort of like this lack of control; it's a relief, knowing these things are out of my hands. Some pressure is released.

I'm filling time by keeping busy with things I want to do. Keeping my mind off the wait has meant an increase in my adventurous side, wanting to go and do new things. I'm reading more than I ever have. I spend more time with my boyfriend and cat, and I even talk to my parents more than every once in a while. Waiting, I've come to realize, is almost a blessing in disguise. It has forced me to find the joy in each day and to relinquish my desire for control. We'll see what happens in the weeks that come, but for now, I'm having a pretty good time. :)

2 comments :

  1. I can so relate. Time never seems to go by quick enough for me. But the time does fly whenever I'm watching disney cartoons on youtube, writing, or working on a craft idea. Time is a blessing we never can get enough of. Oh, and I find, the best things in life are worth waiting for. Sure you can pop a frozen pie in the oven and have it in half and hour. But when you've waited an hour for that freshly baked pie from your mum, it's better than any store bought frozen one. :)

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  2. What a lovely post. I find it hard waiting too, but looking at how fast the last few years seem to be going, I worry I may wish all my time away...its definitely nice to enjoy the little things and the slower moments in life.
    dimplesdiaries
    x

    ReplyDelete

Comments make my day⎯really! I love reading what you have to say. Hope to hear from you. :)

Best,
Leila

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